After marriage - simply read from bottom to top.


Before Marriage - - -

Boyfriend: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girlfriend: Do you want me to leave?
Boyfriend: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girlfriend: Do you love me?
Boyfriend: Of course! Over and over!
Girlfriend: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boyfriend: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girlfriend: Will you kiss me?
Boyfriend: Every chance I get!
Girlfriend: Will you hit me?
Boyfriend: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girlfriend: Can I trust you?
Boyfriend: Yes.
Girlfriend: Darling!

After marriage - simply read from bottom to top.

19:51 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 3

Jokes between father and son – a special funny collection


Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed,
how you control your anger?
son: i start cleaning the toilet.
seat with your toothbrush
=============================================
Son asked to father: Why was the math book sad?
Father replied :Because it had too many problems.

=============================================
Father: What will happen if the third war takes place?
Son: We will have one more addition chapter in our history book!


=============================================
Father: Do you have a trouble making decisions?
Son: well, yes and no !!!

=============================================
Son: mom, yesterday when i was on bus with dad, dad told me to give up my
seat to a lady.
Mom: Good, you have done right thing.
Son: but mom I was sitting on dad's lap.


=============================================
Once in a bar, one guy said to another..
"I slept with your mom last night."
after that whole bar was waiting another guy's response.

After a while... he laughs and says: Let's go home, Father, you are drunk....

=============================================
Once there were three Ladies.
First Lady:-My husband's hair color is Black,So i will wear Black Dress for tomorrow Party.
Second Lady:-My husband's hair color is Yellow,So i will wear yellow Dress for tomorrow Party.
Third Lady questioned:My Husband is bald,So what should I ???!!!


=============================================
The boss returned after lunch in a cool mood and he called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes, which he had picked up.
Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
He asked 'What's the matter?' grumbled the boss. 'Haven't you got a sense of humor?
she replied-'I don't have to laugh,'
Because 'I'm this leaving Friday.

=============================================
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...


=============================================
'First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that''s vanity? Second girl: No, it''s imagination.'


19:47 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 27

Short Jokes between teacher and students – A special collection


Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor..

##############################################
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention here?
Student: yes mam, I am paying as little attention as i can. !!

##############################################
An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: "Thank god I am not a gynecologist."

##############################################
Student1 :Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Student 2: OK
Student 1: A white horse fell in the mud.

##############################################
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It is 42 mam!"
Teacher: "great, and who will tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It 24 mam."

##############################################
Two student were chatting:
First: Do you know what is snake's favorite subject?
second:, no, you tell.
first: Hisssstory!!!

##############################################
Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water?
One student: Its "h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o."
Teacher: What is this?
Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O !!

##############################################

Jazzy: My father is pregnant, I will soon have brother.
Teacher: How can it be? It is not possible.
Jazzy: My mother had abdominal pain last month, than i got a little sister, now my father is undergoing the same pain.!!!

##############################################
Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...

##############################################
short jokes on teacher-student..
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??


##############################################
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

##############################################
Man: How can you tell if a man is happy?
Woman: Who cares?!

19:46 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 33

Common lines after boys get drunk:- Funny Jokes


Some Common lines after boys get drunk:-
--> You are my brother..
--> I will drive the car..
--> I love you from my heart..
--> Today i am not feeling drunk..
--> Don't think that i am saying all this because i am drunk..
--> Let's have one more glass..
--> Ask me what you need, i can even die for you..
--> Don't teach your father..
And the best one...
----> i will stop drinking from tomorrow..

19:31 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 5

what makes a short man to think about candle light dinner?


Q: what makes a short man to think about candle light dinner?
A: Well, because of Power fail...


Man: My wife is short temper & she scared of water.
Friend: how come?
Man: today when i went home, she was in bath tub with the security guard. !!

19:30 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 3

Some Short Jokes collection in English Language


Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!!


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once old man asks:
When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why..!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy said to a girl:-"Come in my heart and stay here forever".
Girl replied:-"Should i remove my sleepers???"
boy,"No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!"


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Employer : We need someone for this Job, who is Responsible.
Applicant : Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I am Responsible...

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: How did you compromise with your wife?
Husband: She came to me on her feet.
Man: and what she said?
Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything...


----------------------------------------------------------------------
'Life is very short and we must find a reason to smile. Anything which makes you smile from inner heart is really worth for you. Some short jokes are really capable of doing the same. So never forget to live present

19:29 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 24

420 Girls Relates Jokes All about Girls


Girls r 70%
Beauty

Girls r 75%
Sweet

Girls r 85%
Naughty

Girls r 90%
Cute

Girls r 100%
Lovely

Total
70+75+85+90+100 = 420

04:11 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 3

HOLIDAY Quote and Jokes


HUSBAND: TODAY IS HOLIDAY AND I WANT TO ENJOY IT FULLY. SO, I HAVE BOUGHT 5 MOVIE TICKETS.
WIFE: WHY 5 TICKETS?
HUSBAND : ONE FOR YOU, TWO FOR YOUR PARENTS AND TWO FOR YOUR SISTERS.

04:10 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 1

The Success of Marriage – A free funny JOKES


Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.

They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.

Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".

Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:

"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.

Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again..
This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?".

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."

Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after ";-)

04:07 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Love VS marriage


Love v/s Marriage!

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!"

04:07 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 1

Beautiful Wife – English Language Joke (Collected)


wife: why don't you advised your friend to select his wife hence she is not a match with him?
husband: mmmm.... becoz he didn't advised me on that time

In Hotel

I want u...
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner....
and to say say those sweet three words to U....

"Pay The Bill"

04:06 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 3

Bangla Jokes collection


good jokes, but Misssss Janviiiiiii your jokes not a Santa Banta jokes, so please enter jokes according title, clear hai

Santa to patient - Apka aur apki wife ka blood group ek hi hai

Patient - Hoga hi, last 25 years se mera khooon jo pi rahi hai.

04:05 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 3

Sardar And A Girl


Sardar proposed a Girl
Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to you'
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

04:03 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 1

Love VS marriage


Love v/s Marriage!

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!"

04:03 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Love VS marriage


Love v/s Marriage!

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!"

04:03 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Employee and Boss and LOVE Jokes


Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!


Love

Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,
One loves too much,

and

The other loves too many.

04:00 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

True Love-Two lovers plan to sucide.


Two lovers plan to sucide.

Boyjumps first.

Girl close her eyes and returned back saying "Love is blind"


Boy in air opens his parachute and says "True love never dies."

03:59 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

BHAIYA - Bangla JOKES collection


IN ONE FAMILY THERE WERE A GIRL. EVERYBODY TOUGHT HER THAT TREAT EVRY BOY LIKE YOUR BROTHER. SHE FOLLOW THE TRADITION VERY RELIGIOUSLY.

WHEN SHE BECOME YOUNG SHE GOT MARRIED. IN FIRST NIGHT (SUHAGRAAT) HER HUSBAND ASKED HER TO REMOVE HER GHUNGAT (COVER ON FACE) BUT SHE REFUSED HIS REQUEST.

AFTER SO MANY REQUEST HER HUSBAND DECIDE TO REMOVE GHUNGAT HIMSELF. WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO DO SO, SUDDENLY THE GIRL SAID " BHAIYA AISE NA KARO MUJHE SHARAM AATI HAI"

03:57 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 3

The Disappointed Salesman


The disappointed salesman of Coke returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.

So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters. The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place".

"That should have worked", said the friend."

He replied, "Well, I didn't know Arabic, neither did I realize that Arabs read from right to left..."


Crash Course

I saw an advertisement for a school that claimed it could teach anyone to drive a car in five minutes or less. I called them up and asked "How can you teach anyone to drive in five minutes or less?"
They answered "It's a crash course."

03:56 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

World's Smallest Resignation Letter -Jokes


Dear Sir,

I Love your Wife.

thank you.


Marketing Tips

WORTH READING-

Professor at one of the IIM's was explaining marketing concepts to the Students: -

1 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry! Me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback

7 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap

8 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share

9 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" Your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

03:55 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Sardar Visits Chinese Friend - A joke collection post


Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardar goes to china to find the meaning of his
friend's last words.
It is "YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN PIPE. !!"


Nri

Top Ten Ways to Recognize an NRI

(May not apply towards NRIs returning from Gulf)

10. One who requests the autorickshaw driver to drive slowly and clutches the seat-cushion nervously.
9. One who just bought a case of Bisleri mineral water.
8. One who gets upset if the train is only six hours behind schedule.
7. One who is nervously gazing at the Green channel at the Customs clearance of airport.
6. One who prefers eating fruits to Poori at the train stations.
5. Basically, any man who is changing a baby's diaper.
4. One who does not wait, for the coolie at the train station, and hauls his/her own 30" suitcase.
3. One who feels embarassed to run after the railway conductor, for reservation.
2. One who says, "say cheese" when taking a picture.
1. One who has gained more FREQUENT FLYER mileage from trips to the toilet.


Liar

A lie machine is bought.
It works in the following way:

If the truth is told- the machine wont give any sound, if a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali,one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine.
Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'.
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'

03:53 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Engineering Study – Jokes collection


8 sems


80 GB syllabus


80 MB we study


80 bytes we answer


binary marks we get


dis is knwn as btech

(brain technically empty)

03:51 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Some Special Funny Meaning


A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING

03:49 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

I Told You - Very Very Special Jokes Collection



I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya

May be : Dil To Pagal Hai

Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai

The whole world appears as: Dushman

But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha

03:47 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

Take Time To Laugh



Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no

Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

03:46 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

WORTH READING


Professor at one of the IIM's was explaining marketing concepts to the Students: -

1 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry! Me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback

7 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap

8 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share

9 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" Your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

03:45 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0

How You Made Money?


A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.

"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

03:39 by bdtv24.ucoz.com · 0